if we don’t bea…

if we don’t beat red [in 7 days], no emerald.
–Twitch Plays Pokémon (Crystal) admin

Short response: Good.

Long response:

When I first tuned into Twitch Plays Pokémon during the Red arc, my reaction went from “amusing trainwreck” to “holy shit they’re doing this and that despite 100,000 people struggling to make inputs.”

I was pleasantly surprised to see them overcome the obstacles they faced. When the time to get the Master Ball came near, I giggled and imagined the stream trashing the Master Ball within ten minutes. Instead, they kept it, traveled to the Power Plant, and caught Zapdos with it. When it came time to travel to Cinnabar Island, they took the long way around and got the Volcano Badge. Victory Road came and despite taking a day to move one boulder, that entire puzzle was cleared out the next day. Finally, the Elite Four and Blue were all smashed after many failures, culminating in a series of curb-stomp battles with Zapdos primarily taking the helm. It was great–seeing everyone mash ‘a’ in order to deliver nonstop pain to this final slew of enemy trainers.

So I thought to myself as the credits rolled, “This experiment was an astouding success.” But a high came to a groan when I learned that the admin was to do another TPP, and I thought to myself, “Look, we did this shit once, it was fun, but let’s give it a rest.” Yet the demand was high and a new TPP kicked off. After the initial 30 minutes I left, and largely ignored TPP for the next 12 days.

Now comes the final trainer, Red, with two catches: Democracy Mode is off, and the team has 7 days to defeat him or TPP Emerald won’t happen.

I hope the TPP crew times out and fails.

One TPP was good enough. Two TPPs? Come on, let the thing rest. A third arc? Who’s still going to care? At this rate TPP is going to become the new “All Your Base” or “Arrow in the Knee”, rather than being remembered as a legendary experiment in crowdsourced gaming.

Do your best, Red. I want to see such tragic failure happen. So that we can put this horse aside and move on. (That, and I’m in the mood for schadenfreude at this point.)


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